Only Anecdotal

“Not like that!” the clerk shrieked to a customer about to pull out a shopping cart. The woman, who had just stood in a socially distanced line for several minutes before entering the store was trying to take an outdoor cart instead of one of the newly sanitized ones waiting for her inside. “Whoops, sorry,” the customer said, as the clerk shook her head. In the same store, another clerk asked me if I had brought my own bags, and I had not, because only a week earlier, the store had banned all outside shopping bags, and required the wearing of disposable gloves, in addition to the customary mask. My clerk said that they were running low on bags, and asked me to remember next time.

This was a scene from May, early in our whole experience of lockdowns and restrictions. A new reality had emerged, one with no rule book. People and organizations tried to cope as well as possible, and some awkwardness was to be expected. But I find my patience wearing thin now, months later, as I run into the store for the various things we need.

What will be the rules next time? It seems that everywhere I go, every time I go, there is a new procedure, or the abandoning of one. The statewide mandates are clear enough, and I can wear a mask everywhere away from home without too much thought. I can avoid throwing huge parties, and won’t race out to hug people I haven’t seen in months.

I had always loved the store, so was happy to abide by the rules, careful as we are now in these days of COVID-19. But I found myself shamefully grabbing three bags of my son’s favorite chips instead of just one, some attempt at avoiding this ordeal–an ordeal not because of the rules, but because of the crabbiness and muddiness of it all.

This year of pandemic has been difficult for everyone, and we have all tried in various ways to cope with the situation. These are not the tragedies, not the immediate ones, anyway. We are thankful not to be ill, not to have loved ones who are ill, and nearly everyone is at least a little afraid. It seems natural to wing it, to do the best we can, and there are generosities and kindnesses to be sure. But the fraying of our nerves, the testiness, the outright nasty comments… I wonder how long it will take for these to fade when we come out of all this.